AHHHHH

Ahh i feel like I’m having a freakin melt down! I’m graduating from college in oh TWO days! and like now i have to be an adult, so pay my own bills, not put my housing on loans, try and figure out how to buy food and still eat with no job at the moment. I’m worryin about gas money and cars and electricity bills and rent and renters insurance and internet/phone/cable and food and moving…all the while dealing with a thing called good byes, graduation, moving, LIFE and dealing with my family and friends. I’m kinda freakin out about my parents coming up – I really want them here but I’m scared to death about how to interact with them, esp my mom….You know what’s sad – I’m anticipating my dad getting up and leaving about 5-6 times during my 2-3 hour plus graduation ceremony to get a smoke. I’m worried that my mom will find the alcohol i have hidden in the apt. I’m trying to balance this with worring about how to make dinner arrangements on sunday after graduation and what all these people are going to do for a while!?!?! I think i’m going to have to move my boxes into becky’s room so there is room in the apt itself for my family.

Okay so i’m kinda feeling a little better venting but i’m still really worked up..it’s like 3 in the am and I can’t go to sleep b/c of all this. so I’m going to make a plan of attack for the next few days
Saturday:
Go and take the rest of my stuff over on my list (oh yes there is a list) and clean up the apt and start to put things away in the kitchen. Probably move boxes into Becky’s room and slowly unpack from there. I also need to vacuum. I also need to call places and try and get reservations for ten people. I can do this. Hopefully see my parents that evening hang out with them, show them my ud house, go shopping for things I need at the apt.
Sunday:
GRADUATION! EEK! Hang out with family and friends and not worry about things because I know that Helen is amazing and my parents have already met Gene so that will be good. I also know that my amazing fiance will help a lot b/c he’s comfortable with both sides now. And I’ll get to see peter and mandy – not to mention presents! 😀
Monday: Go see the health center by 9am about tb test. Take papers over to the YMCA asap. Hopefully hang out with my parents 😀
Tuesday: go into work.

Okay that’s all i need to do at the moment. I know I can do this and once I have a job I’ll be fine – I’m pretty sure that I’ll have a job at the YMCA and I’ll learn to love it – just need to adjust to the smell 😛

okay i’m done – seriously i think my hormone levels have returned to normal. I’ll just have to practice breathing – I can do this.
peace and please pray for me!

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