hello world!

Hey friends of teh internet – it’s been a while but I’ve been thinking so what better place but to post it here…

1) My grandpa isn’t doing so well. He had a heart attack 2 days ago and yesterday they said he had no brain activity. So today they are going to remove the ventilator and see how he does. I’m sad of course. This was the man who lived down the street from me, gave me hell if I didn’t come mow his lawn, told me he was going to turn me upside down and use my hair as a mop, built the house I lived in for 17 years, was completely caring and loving and pretty non-judgmental and recently I learned about his service in the war – so yeah he risked his life to save ours. I’m sad because I want to get to know him better. Although I’m really glad Matthew convinced me to talk to him about his service over Christmas. It was something I wasn’t that pumped to do and kinda scared about doing but I did it anyways and now I know what he did for us, in his own words. I saw him tear up and get emotional and then I saw him laugh at stories of the dog he stole from a German guard. It was amazing – I just wished I would have taped it and now, just now, I am remembering that I went to the WWII memorial for him and took pictures for him…but because I was so busy I didn’t get them to him. 😦 😦 😦 I feel like shit now for not doing that. I also feel kinda guilty because I am being selfish – I’m worried about how I’m going to finish things like if he goes later, or the fact that I might have to miss my graduation for the funeral…I know that’s selfish but I dunno – I can’t help the way I feel.

Okay well that was longer then I expected it to be…

2) The new pope – Benedict the 16th…currently I am not a fan. I seriously do not understand the problem with getting a liberal, hell even a moderate pope in there! Ahhh! This man is all about making the church the truest form – even if it means shrinking the church member size to do that! EXCUSE ME! What about TOLERANCE? What about ACCEPTANCE? Like Jesus accepted others…. As a Christian we are suppose to live out a life like Christ’s. Correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t Jesus share meals with tax collectors and sinners?? Didn’t he stay with those “lower on the totem pole”? and yet we are suppose to shrug off those who are “diseased” (definitely not my word) like homosexuals and liberals – If Jesus were here today, I think he would be embracing those around us that are the minorities or outcasts, not making himself only available to those who form a church around him. He’d be bringing those who are rejected to church with a smile on his face and hand on their back. Not smacking there hand for their sins. And another thing this pope is all about saying that this is the right church. Which I believe is true for me, but how in the world does he suggest to bridge the gaps between other cultures, and religions if we don’t utilize tolerance. Hello! Vatican II states that other religions might have part of the truth – so act like you believe that! Each morning I just wake up and I hope that either I’ll hear the Cardinals say they were playing a prank, or that the pope amazingly flipped sides and tie-dyed all of his church garbs…(lol – that’d be GREAT) or something, because I feel like I’m in a terrible dream. i can’t get out of this rut that I’m in and now I just got a heaping of horse shit thrown on top of me. For real – please lay off!

So I think that’s about it – I’m coming down to the final stretch – graduation is only 17 days away. I’ll be in the real world with huge bills to pay (eek!) I’ll be an adult. whoa, that’s strange b/c I’ve always thought of myself as an adult but now I really will be.

Oh and peeps could keep those prayers rolling for not only my grandpa and grandma, but also for me, I find out if I got this job I really want on Friday. I’m really worried that b/c i psyched myself up about it that I am going to be told no and now I’m gettin all depressed/upset about things…not cool. So yeah….

Alright, pace y ciao
mi bellas. (In my Italian that is “peace and bye my beauties”)

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